At least you admit you're a junkie. I'm not even prepared to go that far.

[And that is way more than he would have said under normal circumstances. Watch the terror bleed into his eyes.]

I tell myself it's because of trauma. It was all fun and games until I had to do something so soul-shattering I thought I'd never recover. Or that recovery might be even worse than the thing itself. So instead, I stuff my endocrine system with anything that'll confuse it long enough to forget for a few minutes.

Then it wears off, and I still feel like shit, but hey, I've been traumatized. It's a way of shifting the blame off of myself.